Comments : These Lies

  • 16 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    The trap has been set
    to where I will always believe
    in those fantasy fairy tales
    that always have happy endings
    ^^ i love how described this as a trap very true i mean we get our kids to believe in fair tales and that the good guy prevails in the end and the evil get what they deserve they dont. this does not happen most of the time we are teaching kids to be naive and it is so a trap! it hurts them more later on

    when we all know it is a lie,
    I read the books where
    there are no endings,
    only more words, more conflicts.
    ^^those books have always caught my atttention because they are unique since they don't follow the traditional format i love them !

    I read never ending books,
    whose sentences go on and on,
    whose love can never be set,
    where the prince will never
    make it to the lovely princess.
    ^^tragic but REAL not cliche at all

    Magic carpets lay on the floor,
    dust concealed under their threads.
    The villain plans more evil schemes,
    the damsel is endangered once again,
    the prince saves her from the darkness
    that would have overpowered her,
    yet he always fades away,
    away from the words on the page.
    ^^hmm...this makes me think is this where it relates to your life?!

    great poem all in all! maybe add punctuation and make it into stanzas. It was good but this poem has more potential maybe play with some generic words and it will be better! great job though i enjoyed it : ) 5/5