The Heartless

by LitxUpxWithxLife   Aug 16, 2008


What a tattered heartless I have become without my soul.
When you left me, you left a pinhole.
How can you still feel like this for me, after all this pain?
All of the problems that come and go like the rain.

All of my anger and hate now fill and cannot be sealed.
This animal thatâ??s inside me just cannot be real.
The dark thoughts that have festered, have now manifested.
And the human I once was in the past, has now been digested.

This new form emerges whole and real.
Anger and pain are all that he can feel.
He walks down an empty road, to be alone forever.
No one for him to love, for his soul is severed.

    report violation
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  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This poem was written very well and it's words are powerful. My two favourite lines are "The dark thoughts that have festered, have now manifested. And the human I once was in the past, has now been digested." Those two lines are absolutely outstanding and perfect in so many ways. I could relate to the topic and meaning very much and it seems we all try and stay out of the rain for the most part. Excellent job 5/5 GG23

    p.s. The second stanza has a couple A?? stuff going on in it haha if you edit your poem and take those away and just make it "That's" it'll be a lot nicer looking :) poem deserves it GG23

  • 16 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    Very dark very cool poem i liked it great job

  • 16 years ago

    by x Mo x

    That's slightly frightening. No offense.

    It's so dark. I really love the animal idea though. And how after you mention that the animal digested the human, you started using third person in the last stanza, demonstrating that you are not the animal. That rocked. Seriously. It was a short poem, but it was very full of everything.

    Great job!

    -mo-

  • 16 years ago

    by Siro aKa Gaara

    Hmmm, the first stanza was hard to read. I had to reread it a few times to get it into my head, but you picked it up and finished it off with two strong stanzas at the end. The flow got better as the poem went on.

    Indeed it is another dark poem for you, you seem really talented at them. Keep it up mate :)

    5/5 (because the last stanza just made me forget the first)

    p.s sorry to sound brutal, but I am just trying to help you with your poems :)

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