Empty Twilight

by InvisiblyHeartless   Aug 16, 2008


Something all too familiar was creeping
Sneaking around the dark corner quietly
Busy squares on the small empty earth
Standing at a four way intersection, alive
Cars swarming by, careful not to see me
Every lights glow blurring with the next
Purrs and roars blending in an odd harmony
Pedestrian voices ringing joyfully, unaware
The wonder of the night silent and statuesque
In the middle of it all, barely alive and lost
Her suffocating world closing in tightly
Arms unnoticeably moving to their comfort
Hugging her own susceptible open chest
The pieces of her well hidden at twilight
Awestruck with amazement, still confused
She concludes her night on the busy street
Sitting on the park bench, with no one
Alone, the empty feelings came back, alone

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  • 16 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Many years ago, I, too, was 'her'.....the feelings you have evoked in me in this piece have brought me as close to tears as anything I have read in a long time...

    I just read this aloud to my partner...with all the meaning and emphasis I could muster...and the tiny tears did, indeed, rise to my eyes...wow..

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Her suffocating world closing in tightly
    Arms unnoticeably moving to their comfort
    Hugging her own susceptible open chest
    The pieces of her well hidden at twilight"

    I absoutely love your word choice here, and how you gave the reader a visual in their mind. Great emotions, and you made the reader feel what you were saying. This was beautifully written, and a joy to read from the beginning to the end. Keep writing, always and forever.....

  • 16 years ago

    by Lori

    Excellent write! The one thing about this piece that caught my attention was the unique word choice! I loved it. Keep writing:)
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Overall, this piece was amazing. I absolutely loved the word-choice for one. Every line, every word, brought so much to the poem. I really loved the feelings you portrayed in this write, I think a bunch of us can relate to that feeling of being alone at the end of the day or just anytime in particular. So wonderfully written. Unique write...I wouldn't change anything with this poem. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I really enjoyed this piece because you have to really read it and try to understand what it means to you. After the first few lines the words instantly make the reader want to continue on and find out whats creeping around the dark corner. I kind of got the feeling that she was selling her body to the night, she feels better when somebody is around to hold her or just be with her, but at the end of the night she's alone again. Excellent work with this piece it makes you think and it keeps you wanting more the whole time. Great work 5/5 GG23

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