Wow loved every line. I could just feel the sadness seeping through your words. I loved the optimism in the end because broken hearts can mend again you just have to find the strength in yourself to do so. I loved every minute of this...wouldnt change a thing. Nothing left to say but Temps youre amazing and shouldnt be sad cause your smile is too beautiful!
*5/5*

"Feelings built up so quickly without self control-
emotions captured such a beautiful soul.
Beat it up until it could no longer breathe,
nor feel anything; numbness took over."

-- I loved this. It was a veryg ood way to open the piece. It tells the reader abou the dilemma the person you're writing about deals with; her feelings.

"Heart silently cracking within her chest,
making it impossible to cure the pain.
She tortured herself with sadness,
until she could no longer smile anymore."

-- I liked this a lot. My onyl suggestion is take out the word "anymore" in the last line. "no longer" & "anymore" is a double negative. Both of them aren't needed.

"(She made the situation much bigger-
than it was intended to be at the beginning.)"

-- I don't think you need the hyphen after the first line. I could be reading it wrong, but I think it would sound fine without it.

"Emotions got so strong, that her heart broke.
Into millions of pieces like glass being shattered.
Her heart had finally cracked open-
left to lay on the floor for everyone to see."

-- WOW! I loved this. Especially the last line. Gosh. I'm at a loss for words. That doesn't happen very often. rofl.

"Now she struggles to pick up all the pieces,
and glue them back together into a full heart.
One that will beat and be able to find him-
someone who will give her the same in return."

-- Aw. This is so sad. I mean, it's good that she's moving on, but it's sad because she has to try and put her heart back together.

"It may take a while for her heart to mend,
but she will move on from this sadness.
She refuses to let the pain capture her heart-
and shatter her heart all over again."

-- Hm. I liked this. However, I think the repetition of "heart" in the last two lines is kinda.. I don't know. lol. I just don't really like the repetition.

Overall; I really like thissss. It's amazingly written. Five out of five.

``Briana

This poem has a very nice free verse flow with a subtle rhyme scheme at the start

Each quatrain building the metaphoric imagery that would make the reader experience the pain of a broken heart if it had not even been broken
It would also explain why it is so difficult to get close to someone who feels walked on.

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Well overall I think this was a good write. The first stanza was pretty clean, but:

"Beat it up until it could no longer breathe,
nor feel anything; numbness took over. "

I didn't particularly fancy how you carried one line to the next. I think each line should be a different thought, or one extending from another. This just happened to be one line going into another, and then some sort of filler after it.
BUT other than that, I liked it. 4.5/5 if i could T.T

First off id like to say this was a really good poem.. The emotions were greatly felt and i liked the words and how you used them... my fav stanza was your last one.. Thats somthing i need to give to one of my friends =D 5/5 Great poem..>!

I like it a lot,
Overall very good, the one thing that threw me off was at first it rhymed, then the rest of the stanza didnt.
usually if its going to rhyme it should have the same style throughout., but after i reread it i still like it a lot.

good job, keep up the great work.

"Feelings built up so quickly without self control-
emotions captured such a beautiful soul.
Beat it up until it could no longer breathe,
nor feel anything; numbness took over. "
The second line needs something special to start it out. It needs to be as known as the first.
The third line in that stanza also distracts me, the it and it just don't fit for me. I think it needs a subject or a noun. 'it' is repeated to much so close.

"Heart silently cracking within her chest,
making it impossible to cure the pain.
She tortured herself with sadness,
until she could no longer smile."
The second line deviates from the gorgeous beauty of the first. It takes a bumpy detour. You also repeat she, be creative, add in adjectives and noun's that allow her subjective amounts of space to change and grow.

"(She made the situation much bigger
than it was intended to be at the beginning.)"
That doesn't fit at all. It throws everything off and makes it seem bad. It is as if you have to talk and the poem is too weak.

"Emotions got so strong, that her heart broke.
Into millions of pieces like glass being shattered.
Her heart had finally cracked open-
left to lay on the floor for everyone to see."
This is my favorite stanza. You cracked the case, and left amazing pain searing my heart. This painted a precise picture, open for interpretation. Just one little typo, lay shall be lie.

"Now she struggles to pick up all the pieces,
and glue them back together into a full heart.
One that will beat and be able to find him-
someone who will give her the same in return."
The opening line picks up the strand of wonder, but then the second line is just average. I don't think that it is phrased well. maybe try ' Gluing those shards back together into a whole. ' the last line drops off and makes me ponder how the words are so supernatural and then normal.

"It may take a while for her to mend,
but she will move on from this sadness.
She refuses to let the pain capture her heart-
and shatter everything all over again."
That one is absolute perfect. Nothing to say but I'm in awe.
Overall this was a touching good piece. I like it a lot. It does need a little work.

Lexie

Ouch!!
this poem was full of pain..but it ended with a liiiiiiiiittle hope which was nice..
lovely poem.. i just admired that part

(Heart silently cracking within her chest,
making it impossible to cure the pain.
She tortured herself with sadness,
until that beautiful smile disappeared.)
keep it up!!

This is absolutely beautiful. =]
And I'm sorry about the short comment, I just haven't been here a lot lately, so I'm not very good at giving comments anymore.

Keep it up =)

xx