Okay so here are ladies and gentlemen. please stand up.
clap for me while i spit these endless poetry lines. this is the aLiSsaROSA ShOw and Let me juSt Say, "LightS; pen; paper."
yOu've see nOw I've uSed tO SeLf harm. i waS On suicide watch every i did Something it was Like an alarm.
an alarm that would set my body into a numbness stage. a stage where I've couldn't move; i couldn't even speak. the words I've tried to say just came out Like a baby trying to speak. and just Like the blood from my wrist would leak. my voice . .
i had no voice. the knife had taken over my life. my life; my husband; it took everything. yOu see on this day. the day Of august 18. I've made two months without the blade. but still the scars on my body shall never fade. as much as i may scratch and beg to remove these filthy scars that mark my body. they should never be taken from me. I've made a prOmiSe; I've prOmiSe i shall try to keep. a prOmiSe fOr him and a prOmiSe oO2 me. I've prOmiSe tO thrOw away the bLade and Start Over. and aS yOu can See these paSt twO mOnthS haven't been aS Sweet. when the urges came and i picked up a pOcket knife to put it gently to my wrist. he came to my rescue and snatched the knife; and held me.
held me in his arms and promised not to let go. we slept on the bathroom floor that night his back against the wall and me on top of him with my head on his chest. he slept while i stood up listening to his heart beat gasping onto his hand. i held it tight and slowly then fell asleep. waking up to a surprise there was a note on my table. i read as it said. "Oh sweet daughter Of mine although we've never had a real relationship and we've tried so hard to create one my new girlfriend doesn't seem to want me to spend time with yOu. as yOu can see She doesn't want yOu. &+ neither . .
neither do i. She put down the note her father had lefted her. She went to his room and found all his things gone. gone Like a blink of an eye he stepped into her life_ and stepped right back out. trying not to cry. She sat in the bathroom once more rereading the note over and over trying to understand_understand what was wrong with her to make someone not want her? was it because her body was marked with such filthy blade marks? or because he veins had been filled with such poison or better yet drugs maybe herion? ashamed of herself once more picked up the blade but this time he waSn't there to save her. in fact no one was She was going to die alone. She made just one slit and boom She bled and bled until She felt god gasping her wrists screaming She said, "take me; take me away from this life.!"
next thing yOu know She was in a hospital bed with ivs stuck in her. turning her head kicking and screaming trying to remember what had happen and why was She strapped down in a hospital bed She looked at her wrist and then knew that this poem had to be written Like this. looking at her boyfriend that never left her side. he kissed her forehead and whispered, "i lOve yOu sunshine always and forever." and then She whispered back, "i lOve yOu too pookie dont ever leave me."
_*yOu probably want to know what happened next dOn't yOu? yOu just got to keep reading.
-Signed im such a beautiful disaster.
