Linger {Contest}

by BREEawNUHH   Aug 20, 2008


**I know there is a lot of repetition, but I really don't feel the need to go through and edit it.**

How long has it been now?
About a month, I think.
Your presence still lingers.
So I'll take another drink.

They say I'm ruining my life.
The bottle won't bring you back.
Silly them, they think I care.
I do it to fall off the track.

I know it's not good for me.
But I'm nothing without you.
My vision is blurry now.
But what else can I do?

I do this to stop thinking of you.
Though it's not doing any good.
I'm too foolish to stop consuming.
Even though I know that I should.

It's been hard without you here.
Only a month has gone by, I think.
Your presence will forever linger.
So I'm taking my last drink.

Briana Coulter
08.20.08

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by nicole

    I love this!

  • 15 years ago

    by Kimberley

    Wow. amazing. just amazing. youve got great talent. 5/5. this poem is so sad and i absolutly loved it. ~KM~

  • 16 years ago

    by Paralyzed

    I like the way you resolved the opening lines with the ending. Coming to realize the memory lingers either way. I think you did a good job with this poem and I don't think it was too repetitious at all, thanks so much for entering it.

  • 16 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    Huh, there really isn't that much repetition. I do like how the first and last stanzas still tie in together by keeping the same theme with them which is the last line. I like how this can be taken to the extremes by either someone passed away or a break up without really going into a ton of detail. I'm not sure if that's what you were aiming for but that's kinda what I got from it.
    ~Faith

  • 16 years ago

    by Lori

    Wow. This sends an excellent message. I really enjoyed your wording because it continuously drew me in. I think people do this alot also.
    Excellent write! I absolutely loved it. 5/5