Comments : Brown Mountain Light

  • 16 years ago

    by Goodbye

    This poem is so sad. How bad the American Indians were treated... Just like native Finnish, Sami people (saamelaiset, lappalaiset in Finnish).

    Flow was good. Subject were interesting. Title was nice. All in all, very nice poem.

    Keep on writing. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "Carolina children,gather close
    A tale I tell you this night
    Scientist seek, journalist speak
    The legend of Brown mountain light"

    -- Comma after "children".

    "Love beyond all reason
    Believe with all of your might
    Cling not to the logic of this world
    Remember,The Brown mountain light."

    -- I think you should remove the period at the end of the last line, unless you make it consistent throughout. Also, I don't think you should capitalize "The" or "Brown" in the last line.

    Overall; I liked it. The rhymes were excellent, and it flowed very well.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • 16 years ago

    by Deana

    Briana,Brown Mountain is the name of the mountain.I think it calls for a capital.