Level one involves realization.
That you don't love me.
My one and only known sensation.
Is something you do not see.
Level two is when I start to try.
To leave you behind and move on.
It doesn't work so I start to cry.
Because I have become a useless pawn.
Level three is when I find him.
He lives far but he loves me.
And he goes on like a whim.
Saying we could definitely be.
Level four is because he hasn't called.
And I've been waiting for two days.
I guess he has also stalled.
So one more time I go into a daze.
Level five I text him it's over.
He laughs and asks why.
I try not to give him the cold shoulder.
But he's the one who didn't try.
Level six I realize I owe Connor an apology.
So on line I tell him my reasons.
And end the conversation with I'm sorry.
I've changed so much with the seasons.
Level seven I know I am alone.
No one to love or to care.
There's never any messages on my phone.
No one to have secrets to share.
Level eight is when it hits me.
Brandon is my best friend.
Us together I still can't see.
But I'll have him 'til the end.
Level nine is knowing I still can't have you.
And you've found someone else.
Your happiness I thought I could do.
So now I am wondering what else?
Level ten and I'm almost done.
I'm alone and unsatisfied.
And still haven't found the one.
I can only say that I've tried.
