Comments : She Awaits Her Soulmate.

  • 16 years ago

    by X Harlea X

    Wow. filled with pure emotions. the last stanza really stood out. "why doesn't anyone see through those stunning blue eyes" was a really great part to add in this. great job and keep looking, and writinng.5/5
    **harlea

  • 16 years ago

    by Yeka

    Hey love it.............truly wonderful work (^_^) 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    Nice imagry

  • 16 years ago

    by ShyandHurt

    Incredible poem. You painted a picture with words and it nearly sent me to tears. Lovely word choice. Amazing. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by T uh Belle lll

    Although I don't like to read about a female being so vulnerable because of a man, I understand where this is coming from.
    Everyone has the desire to love, and it would be a lie to ignore that.
    With that I tell you that your piece was beautiful and original!
    Keep Writing...Tia

  • 16 years ago

    by x Mo x

    Aw,
    That was sweet, yet sad.

    There was something about the structure that was interesting. I'm not sure how to describe it. It was a lot like ridding a bike. You peddle fast and hard then relax and it takes care of itself. That's what it was like to me. The first couple lines in each stanza were the peddling ones then it would relax and take care of itself. If that makes any sense at all.

    Great poem!

    -mo-

  • 16 years ago

    by CourtneyyContageous

    Wow, so powerful, and yet so sad. I can feel the emotion, jumping right off the page. I could imagine that poor little soul, crying. Very amazing poem Faith.Nothing I can cpmlain about, then agian I never do, because your poems are always flawless =)

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poems structure and lack of rhymes made it look more like a story, than a poem.
    I liked the subject though, it is one many can relate to. The flow was broken in some of the places.
    Although, I could imagine the whole thing, which is something I liked.

    Nice poem overall 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by The Prince

    "Sitting in the corner curled up tightly; alone.
    Tears immediately stream down her cheeks-"

    This is a great opening couplet, it's straight to the point and the loneliness this character inherently feels is bluntly revealed to the reader with careful use of emotive language.

    "Awaiting her soul mate, the man of her dreams;
    to sweep her off her feet, to wipe away those tears."

    So deveivingly simple language is key to the success of this poem, simplicity is often looked down upon, I envy people who can write catchy and simple poetry as I can not. You seem to have a gift of being able to.

    "All she's discovered thus far is a heart breaker-
    which can easily explain why she is fearful to love."

    At the beginning, we didn't know why this young girl was in tears, but its revealed again, quite bluntly and stands out as we now see why she is afraid. I imagine you telling this, as she sits there in the corner, and we're watching over her and you're telling me why she feels this way, excellent.

    "For her heart was broken once, a second time would-
    result in possible death; a destroyed heart can't risk it."

    Again, it's so blunt, it's brilliant!

    "Why doesn't anyone see through those stunning blue eyes-
    that show so much fear, yet hold hope to love once again.
    Why can't one soul capture her heart, hug her, kiss her-"

    I admire your sympathy for the girl, almost like you relate to her, how the world mistreats this girl is saddening and quite common, it's why this poem is so moving.

    "love her unconditionally for eternity? What's so difficult about that?"

    I love the use of rhetorical questions here, makes the reader think, it's clever.

    "So she continues to sit curled up in that corner; alone.
    Awaiting her long lost soul mate that has yet to find her."

    The final lines are so powerful, the lack of rhyme adds to the effect, cleverly disjointed and blunt.

    Well done! You've captured the essence of a lonely girl waiting to be found, your descriptions and writing technique were very well put together here, an easy 5/5 :]

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This poem is written amazingly well. I thought it was so beautiful. The emotion behind your words are great.

    "Her world spins around and around countless times-
    yet she has not found that one that makes her smile.
    All she's discovered thus far is a heart breaker-
    which can easily explain why she is fearful to love.
    For her heart was broken once, a second time would-
    result in possible death; a destroyed heart can't risk it."

    -- "yet she has not found that one that makes her smile." -- I thnk you should change "that" to "the". To be frank, I think it would sound a lot better when read.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana