It feels like it's missing something. Like it's missing a bit of emotion. Don't get me wrong, it's still an awesome poem and I enjoyed reading it. I just wish it had a little more description. I had a hard time catching it in my mind. I'd get a glance at the feeling behind it, but then just as fast as it came it would be gone.
Good write though!
-Mo-

Love it but more the flow
but a little bit descriptions k
but love it great job (^_^) 5/5

It's good, if I may say. You have a lot of potential! Some lines didn't fit as well, particually the longer ones, but it is overall a poem that gets the message across. Isn't that the most important thing?