Final Goodbye

I spent hours writing that letter to my mom.
I expressed my feelings in a manner so calm.
I was honest with you. Not once did I lie.
But I saw no concern in your face as I began to cry.

Oh so sorry my bad, you cried a little,
Not enough though to show you were still brittle.
I thought when you cried I had found the old you.
Must be not because you went back and I became blue.

You went back to that heartless unloving thing.
Your face became hard again and boy did that sting.
It went through my heart leaving me in tears as you spoke.
You didn't care about the boys at all. I began to choke.

I wished it wasn't true but our fight Saturday was proof.
I can't stand you anymore. I wished you would go poof.
I know that was mean, but dammit Mom, my letter had no effect.
I told you what to do too, my answer quickly became a reject.

I will not go back on my words in that letter I wrote.
Muffling my crying sounds had started to hurt my throat.
I just wished that I had a mom who actually loved me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make you see.

"When you decide you love me and care for me give me a call."
I know that line was harsh and I wanted it to hurt but it didn't at all.
Too bad it didn't hurt. I was hoping it would to make you think.
I had tears streaming down my face that I can't get away in a blink.

I got up off of the stairs and walked down them crying.
You said you loved me, but that lie I wasn't buying.
Out the door I go not turning around, I feel like I will die.
But like my letter said, "Here is my final good bye."