Waiting

by Kyle Cavanagh   Aug 26, 2008


Broken in half,
torn in two,
effort drowned in fire,
not yellow but blue,

something like water,
can't live without it,
but it still takes lives,
friends eventually split,

it drives a person to change,
and it's all for what,
to impress lots of people,
to make it up a spot,

you've got all your friends,
and thats all you need,
don't go out to flirt,
they get found with more speed,

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by jeffery sechrest

    Wow mazing i thouth u did really well 5/5
    -ffej-

  • 16 years ago

    by Mummy to a beautiful baby girl

    Stuff tat [person i <3d it kyle.

  • 16 years ago

    by The Queen

    I dont think the title suit with the poem. Speed would be great if it was the title.

    The comma after every line is not a must. The first letter of each opening line in every stanza should be capitalized. I prefer each first letter of every line to be capitalized as it add a pleasing appearance to the poem. The apostrophe was missing in the word THAT’S. I dont think it is good for a poem to be ended up by a comma.

    However lets go to the flow and structure of the poem. The flow was flawless that made it easy to read. The structure was excellent. You managed to focus on the image your poem was trying to portray. Excellent job..5/5

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