How do I

I guess what I've been
trying to tell myself
is that I really just
don't understand the whole
dating thing.

how am i supposed to trust somebody
to love me
care about me
want me
when i can barely trust myself to do that?

how am i supposed to know
to understand what someone else
needs and wants
when im not even sure
what I need and want?

or maybe, more appropriatly,
i can't trust that I'm
doing the right thing.
I want arms around me
comfort, care, love
a true friend
but i can't ask for that.

I have to please
I have spent my whole life
being told to please.
I have no idea how to
ask for what I want.
to ever look for it.

the last thing i remember
is mistrust
pain, hurt
but always mistrust
and my body has developed a natural
instinct to defend

how can I break
the wall?
how can I learn to trust
how do I
portray that I need
time.
patience.
and most of all
support.