Suicidal tendencies

I don't want to live in a dream
Anymore
I want my life back,
The person I use to be.
I'll do anything, I'll change all my ways.

These tears I;ve cried have drowned me,
Drowned my life.
I can't go on this way, when everything
She did to me as a young child is destroying
The life I live now.

I can't live this dream anymore
I have to go
I have to escape it,
This black and white night mare
Oh how I need to erase it.

I battle an infinite struggle
I just can't deny
I live in desperation,
I have become a slave to my chronic depression.

I walk on broken glass
The blood pours out
Despite the pain
I feel a relief, I am running from myself
Trying to escape my life of hell.

I feel so sad
I can't go on
I just want to scream
But I am invisible
In this horrid dream.
It's a classic.

A film rolling over and over
Except the film gets stuck
On the part where
I feel pain, sadness, hurt and misery.
I cantt live in this dream anymore.

Each day I am so certain I will change
My ways, always sure things will fall into place
But then I realize
That he is gone,
The one I planned on changing for is the
One who landed up changing on me.

My depression has turned into
Suicidal tendencies.
I wish he could understand just how I feel
I wish it wasn't
A dead end and
I could still go on.

I have said my prayers
And they didn't help
I asked for assistance to save myself.

So now I scream my heart out
And leave this life
For tonight is the night that
I end my life...