Pondering Ascension

I have often wondered if we are born again,
Thrown another chance, each and every time
That we may know death, a true death,
Only when we live a life deserving of it

But then I doubt,
Is such a thought nothing but an excuse to live poorly,
Knowing the offer will be remade, again, again, yet again
Perhaps it shall be said such liberties will be denied us
Only to instill a better living within us,
But perhaps mercy would prevent the acknowledgement of our failure

Is Heaven reserved for the best of us or
Is heaven reserved for the best in us
Such a difference

For many of us stand no chance, have no opportunity
To attain such light and luxury, coming and going
Without ceremony
We are all destined to fall, once again into shadow lands
But then
Is there no point in their existence except to test those who can achieve?
The glory of greater living