Comments : Shakespeare in action(a shakesperean sonnet)

  • 16 years ago

    by The Queen

    The rain performs a song of melody

    in which the world lull by its harmony.

    by the pitch of the wind they sang in rhyme

    perfectly emulates a lullaby.

    ^^ I think it would look even better if you’ll put comma after the word melody to indicate a gap between MELODY and IN. Since there was a period after harmony, the word BY should be capitalized. Just four lines yet you managed to emphasized the beauty of the rain. The resonance of its drops brings a special touch in my heart.

    mimicking the flicker of a thousand stars

    ’tis droplet of rain falling from above.

    as they dances lively in bliss

    keeping up a rhythm, change it all to fantasy.

    ^^Mimicking it should be and not mimicking. Apostrophe before the word tis is a must. As to be capitalized as there was a full stop after the word above. It would look better if youll put hyphen after the word bliss to indicate that the sentence was not finished. Wow, mind blowing lines and yeah it brought a fantasy to me.

    thou must worry not in this special day

    smile and let the sadness be fade away.

    upon burrying the melancholy

    come and lit the candle of ecstasy.

    ^^Thou must be capitalized and a comma after the word DAY I think is a must. Upon to be capitalized, XD burying and not burrying A very inspirational lines. Well done.

    tis god scheme,anyway....

    im here to greet you "BHEA" happy Birthday.

    Apostrophe before tis and should be capitalized goes as well with Im. Hmm I must say this is marvelous. A great way of saying enjoy the day, rain or shine. Well done..

    BUt those were just my opinions and of course you did a marvelous job there..

  • 16 years ago

    by SashaMirage

    I give you a 5/5 for this poem. It was very romantic. Your words are very charming. My favorite part is "
    Mimicking the flicker of a thousand stars

    'tis droplet of rain falling from above.

    As they dances lively in bliss;

    keeping up a rhythm, change it all to fantasy.
    You really pulled me into your lovely fantasy.