I am still don't really feel comfortable with the ending, more because how it fits in with the rest of the piece...yet, this poet has a deft hand and being when it comes to making the contents "real"/organic - poet-poem-receiver - it thus overcomes a fairly common syntax and structure with its sounding of similar rhymes and such...however, the content does not rely solely on its structure...it has a sense of being that could only be created by a real poet! Hence, this work is much more that a mere "4"! Well worth the encounter and the experience kept after it comes to its "end"!

I really liked the concept to this poem. Although the flow was a little shaky, it was still a good poem. Maybe wording things differently might help. Good poem!