Z.....z

This is such a good poem. It's so intense and in your face. I'm not a fan of that kind of style, but you do it well. I think this was your best work. Keep it up. Nik

Awesome poem. I love the last line the best because I can 100% relate. There's this guy that did the same, and now he's all nice to me. And I HATE it. Great poem though. It has great emotion. I don't really feel the flow in the poem. The rhymes were good, but seemed a little forced. I'm not exactly sure why though.

Soda E>

This poem had very strong emotions in it. I liked the way that you showed them through your words, the reader could get a clear image of how you felt. The rhyme schem was good and when your angry its difficult to write out how you feel much less get the words to ryhme at the ending. There have been times where ive tried to write when I was angry and I ended up ripping the paper with my pencial. So very nice job on that point. Defenatly keep trying to write about your anger because in this poem you did a very good job of getting your emotions out there.
As for your grammer there were a few mistakes but I wouldent worry so much about that. I know Im horrable at grammer. its mainly (in my opinion) how you get the words out

My favorite lines in this poem would have to be:
I used to have faith in god...
When I was a little kid,
But through those years my preys remained lost...
The only way for me to save myself was to have hid...

I love how you show the progression of your faith dwindling and then dying all together. Very strong imadgry in that. I also like your use of punctuation in these sentances that alone can really bring life to a poem. I look forward to reading your other work.
Well written

Nice! this was a good 1, awsome job.... 5/5

Ok this is an excellent poem. a little off with the grammar. not that i don't have that issue. it's just easier to catch someone elses than my own. lol anyway its so good because the feelings of hatred are well portrayed. and at the end that twist of the hatred you feel is towards a completely different being. at first i thought it was hatred towards your mom or dad. but then the sexual part just made it more intense. grat piece of work!!. keep it up!!