Needed smile

by timothy cadwell   Sep 5, 2008


I ware this cold mask every day
hoping to lure the true my way
so many, so close, but not for me
just one o god, is what i plea
for once not to be a fake
one needed smile, all it may take
not sher for its been so long
i remembered a smile but now its gone
then threw the clouds i saw no hope
but there was a girl my heart did scope
maybe a friend i needed so
its been a wile seance she let me go
she sed she was there and held me tight
my needed smile was glowing in sight
one true smile my soul was in glorious flight
but she left me alone by the end of the night
she sed she cared and would come back
my final hope was under attack
she never came, once again used
a needed smile for one new bruise
i was triked in hope once again
for ever and always with out a true friend

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Grace

    Cool poem dude!!!! LOL

  • 16 years ago

    by JaM

    I am very pleased with this poem. It's hearfelt and sad. Hopefully not as true as it seems to be. I love that the idea and purpose of the poem is carried throughout the entire write. Your feelings are clear and strong. It's simple, yet effective. The one thing that I like the most out of it all is that you have cleared admitted to your inability with grammar and spelling, but still you write because it is in your heart. I will agree with you on that though, it was a little difficult with the errors, but nonetheless it was well written and still easily pieced together despite your errors. Great job.

    I have not read any of your other poems yet but based on this single poem I've noticed there is no structure to your writing. In other words, I myself prefer to have four lines in each stanza that I write. That is more or less my style of writing, but I think that if you created your own structure that best suits your personality it would give it an easier flow. It allows pauses where they may need to be.......hope this helps ya and keep writing.

  • 16 years ago

    by Sweetdream

    This had a really nice flow to it....good job!

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