This is really quite excellent in ways. I loved the emotion you brought out, for some reason the thing how you told what the stanza was about before it happened helped out alot with the feeling. I really felt like I connected the way you felt about this person with the way I feel about certain people. So you did very good expressing yourself. The main thing that I wished was different in this though is I felt like it needed some sort of rhyme scheme. Even if subtle I felt like it would've done a great positive for you. And I'm all for free verse but something about this piece made me want to hear it rhyme. Personal opinion though and great emotion. 4/5

Eh, I don't get the point of the brackets. I'm sure your reader will get what each stanza is referring to. Let me know if it's some technique I'm unfamiliar with. If not, I'd lose them.
"Flying so carelessly among the realms of paradise
And I'm so euphoric up here, never want to leave"
I personally think that these lines are a little redundant. You're in paradise, euphoria is expected, correct?

"Everytime you kiss me, become deliciously delirious"
Who does? Add a subject? It is a catchy phrase though. Alliteration is noted.

"left again in a state of bliss"
I feel like I just read this idea. I did, the line before it. You keep repeating yourself in this "euphoric" state, "delirious" state, and now your "state of bliss". I get it. Develop some more emotions or details. Something else.

"Nestled securely in your embrace, safe from outside world
Hearts beating in unison, so content and peaceful again
Every touch so tender, so welcome and so cherished
If I close my eyes, the rest of the world ceases to exist"
-Very cute stanza. When one is involved romantically with someone else, they're all you see.

"Everytime we're together, the world could be falling apart"
-Again, you've stated this idea. The line before. "The world ceases to exist"

This poem is kind of cliche. I mean, how many times have you heard someone refer to their romance as a "fairytale" or any part of one? Ah well, I knew that coming to comment anyway. I'm guilty of the same thing, or I was. One of my old poems is "Man of my dreams". You just can't help it sometimes, I suppose. Overall a very cute poem. Try to expand your emotions away from the shallow "bliss" and some more raw feelings. Depth. Your writing is good, your subject just gave you no room to expand.

Have fun writing more!

Wow, this is... this is just LOVE. It is very romantic, loving and it is written perfectly... I love the rhythm of this and i especially love that is does not have a significant rhyme at the end, ya know?

I really liked how you showed what you were writing about in the little {}
":) It helps me as a reader, imagine what you are talking about more clearly.

"Everytime we're together, the world could be falling apart
And I wouldn't notice because I'm so wrapped up in you
Two hearts, two souls, rapidly melting together as one"
This was my very very favorite lines... because this is true.. no matter how much S*** in this world... if you are with someon eyou love... then everything is okay in your heart. caz i think humans really just need that someone to be with them... because then they feel invinsible.

you have brought a lot of stuff into my head and i am glad i read this.

p.s.
deliciously delirious is very very cooool. i like that! ;)
5/5

Hmm this one seems like a song, its a great fairytale story and the message was powerful. the emotions are very well express. i enjoyed the rhyming i can truly relate and very outstanding. keep up the good work ... marvelous 5/5

I like the little subtitles that lead to the stanzas, they're cute and somewhat aesthetically pleasing.

This is good. Not your average love poem (thank God). It still had the same elements that love poems generally have but you built on them with your vocabulary very nicely. It's sweet and indepth, almost analysing what you like about that person.

Some of the metaphors were a little unoriginal such as "I'm flying", but that's nothing major.

Great poem, 5/5

jess ~

Very nice write. Extremely predictable, but then again love is pretty predictable in itself.

Some phrases you wrote were a bit cliche and rather overused such as this "state of bliss" idea you mention over and over again using all sorts of synonyms.

The phrases in brackets were a cute add on.. and they made good sense in your poem. This is one of the things that actually made your poem original.. so i would ignore anyone who tells you to get rid of them. They give the poem your own personal touch rather than it being the same old love poem we've read over and over again. Creative touch.

Free verse was a good choice as all the possible variations of "love" rhyming with " above" and so on were used up years ago.. i know because i too fell victim to them at one point i think.. lol

Overall, i liked this poem.. it had some sparks of raw emotion at the base, which i liked.. although you could go further and cross the boundaries if you had wanted to.

5/5 - enjoyed the read.

I liked this poem for the most part it was very warm and loving. The images were both loving and tender the meaning was a soft gift of compassion to the one it was meant for all and all a good read Plot121.

That was a nice one to read..keep it that way
you have a great way to describe feelings...drifting
away from reality(that's good sometimes)