Forever and today...

I just realized something,
and it hurt.

You never loved me,
It was always her.

I don't want you to hate me,
I'm sorry my intentions aren't clear,
I'm not very happy,
I hate that I wish you were here.

You always seem to joke,
and smile at everything,
it's almost sickening to see,
how you never look,
it's saddening to me.

Why do you act so happy,
when you never really are.

Why do you smile and laugh at everything,
while you make new scars.

I don't understand you,
and I probably never will,
and I don't care if you don't love me,
nor if I was just a thrill.

I just want my best friend back,
cause for some unknown reason,
I still love you.

Forever and today.