Light at the End

Light at the End

The rain is still pours upon me while I wait there at the side of the road where you left me. I feel the breeze gently touch my face as a tear starts to fall and merge with the rain. My thoughts are free flowing as I begin my slow and lonesome walk along the never-ending dirt road. Memories arise and with them come anguish and pain. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around my aching head, and pound my fist into my temple...please just go away.

I begin to shake violently all throughout my body. I try without any success to drive the memories back into the outskirts of my unconscious mind where they belong. I release one of my arms around my head and dig into my pocket, frantically searching for my medication but instead of my medication I find myself running my finger along the top of an object oh so familiar. Its shape is unforgettable to the eye and always cold to the touch. Its edges can engrave any formation into your skin and is often used to help overlook a sorrowful past. I cautiously pinch the razor between my fingers and lift it out my pocket. My eyes widen as a deadly thought crosses my mind, the one solution to my problem is held within this razor.

I place the cold blade against my wrist and force myself to look away. Little by little I drive the sharp edge of the razor deep into my already scar wrist.

Im committing the greatest sin I think to myself as I watched the blood starts to form at the place of my incision, slowly at first but it begins to flow faster into a river down my arm. With my arm painted in red, my mind and body start to lose reality....

The rain outside takes a turn for the worst, now falling heavily in sheets. The temperature is dropping rapidly as I try to cling to the thin clothing I wear. The frigid wind has also begins to pick up sending goose pumps crawling underneath my skin. I feel no warmth, nothing as my knees give out from under me. My body falls hard onto the wet gravel road.... I try to stand but I feel my stomach flip. I throw up all over myself, and the space around me. The smell sweeps into my nose and causes me to gage. I cant believe this is happening to me...I carefully try to drag my body out of the throw up and blood. Gradually I heave my almost lifeless body out of the splattered mixture.

I can hear the thunder above my head and the splash of raindrops around me; I never though I would end up dieing at the side of the f&@#ing dirt road, all alone and once again forgotten. I feel an abrupt sharp pain as my heart obliterates into pieces. I scream out in pain and clutch my chest, spit and blood form in my mouth then gush down my chin. Its all coming to an end... my times almost up.

I gradually struggle to knees and finally stand...with my razor in my hand and tears streaming down my broken face. I slowly place the blade against my neck, praying that God will understand why it all had to end. I open my mouth to say my final the one that no one will ever hear.

"You all did this to me, you all helped to kill me. But I have to say it was you my love.... the one that has finally sent me over the edge. Although I hate you for it...I still cant take the feeling away that I will forever love no matter what is said or done you are my only one"

With that I press the jagged blade into the skin of my neck awaiting a slow and painful death. With all the strength I have left I dig it deep into my artery and with a quick flick of my wrist, I slice all the way across.

The blood rushes from the gapping wound, my whole body freezes and the world starts to spin. I fall backwards hard onto the ground. The rain hits my face like stinging needles but even that being to fade. I have a few minutes left...

I suddenly sense something coming close but cant turn my head. I feel the slight warmth of a hand on my neck and another on my face. The rain stop hitting me as the body appears overhead.

My body tenses up out of protect but it fades as the knowledge of who it was comes into reality. Her grip on my neck tightens and she pulls me close into her chest. She lays her head onto of mine and rocks me in her arms. Her other hand leaves my face to caress down my entire body. I hear a hushed but painful cry aloud. I become aware of her hot tears splashing onto my face.

I hear her faintly say, "I should have never left. Will you ever forgive me.... im sorry I could never understand but you cant die...I cant live here on this earth alone."

She puts her lips carefully onto mine but keeps her hand on my neck. She kisses me ever so softly but with intense passion and anger.

She laces her finger in with mine... I lift my head as much as I could and try to speak but she put her finger against my lips and tells me not to say anything.

As I look into her eyes deeply my body goes numb and bitter cold.

My time has finally come..

Im eyes shut and my finger fall loose from hers. My heart beat slows abruptly...memories begin to flash before me quickly and then everything turns white...

I find myself stand at the side of the road again but this time I feel no pain or sadness instead a sense of peace has washed over me.

I looked out into the distance expecting nothing but the never-ending road but to my surprise however I see not only the road but for the first time in my life I see a light at the end...