She is tired of faking smiles and laughs,
Feeling so emotional, and dying in her dreams,
Keeping up a mask for everyone else to see,
But sometimes, people don't let on as it seems,
-
good opening stanza..
rhyme and meter is spot on.
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Saying she is happy to everyone,
But deep down it's all just a lie,
Cutting her way out of her depression,
And just always feeling like she wants to die,
-
again good rhyme and choice of words.
these first two stanzas are a good intro to the theme of the poem and doesn't lead straight on to the main messae.
-
But waking up one day,
And finding it hard to see,
Who she is, and what she's doing,
She whispers "I don't want to be me"
-
this is my fav stanza. it descibes exactly how i feel. good rhyme flow etc.
-
She wants someone to save her,
But will it ever become true?
She just wants to be different,
And stop saying "I'm through",

To become the happy little girl,
In pig-tales with big brown eyes,
Stop drowning in her fear,
Depressions and lies,

She wants her smiles and laughs,
To be real and to accept what's there,
To have someone stop and tell her,
"No matter what, I'll always care",

She wants to be hugged and kissed,
To have a real best friend,
And have someone be there for her,
Until the absolute deathly end,
-
these four stanzas have good flow and the meter and words are perfect.
-
She just wants someone to accept the fact,
No ones the same and no one can always see,
That people aren't who they are letting on,
So she'll always be whispering, "I don't want to be me"
-
this is a great last stanza. the meter is slightly off but you can't really tell.
-
all in all this is yet another amazing write. i can relate to it a lot.

5/5

[you don't seem to be listening to me. i am always here. you're never alone.]

.hayley.

:]

I luv it.. one of my favorites..