TRAPPED IN THIS ROUTINE

I'm trying so hard to find the meaning to why i feel this way,
And I'm trying so hard to find those reasons to why i should stay.
It seems like everything around me is falling apart,
and now I need a new beginning and a brand new start.
I'm trying so desperately to find some happiness and bliss,
but it seems to me like these things don't exist.
I feel so trapped in this stupid little routine,
where life is miserable where this side of me no one will ever see.
I promised myself i wouldn't feel this way again,
but here i am, in this confusing pattern that seems to never end.