Break Down

by RavishingEruption   Sep 12, 2008


I can feel my body
Slowly shutting down
I can barely feel my heartbeat
My mind begins to drown

As I try to swim through
The swirling mist inside my mind
Something suffocates me
Coming from behind

Hatred. Lies. Deceit.
Breathing heavily in my ear
But the taunting and harassment
Can't make me shed a tear

Fear has choked off reaction
Confusion is breaking through
With the battles fought inside
I have one thing to do

Break down into pieces
Shatter till I cry
Put it back together
At least I'll say I tried

Make myself look better
Rise up from the floor
Dust the past off my shoulders
I won't be broken anymore

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Saving Grace

    Woahh thats one awesome poem!!!! I loved it! i can totally relate right now unfortunatly..but it did end with a more positive message and i really liked it alot. Keep writing! 5/5 easily

  • 16 years ago

    by Travis

    Wow, very strong emotions here
    i loved the FLOW
    It was nice YO
    my favorite stanza would have to be the last one, i loved the metaphor you used "Dust the past off my shoulders"

    I can also really actually relate to this poem, I've been in that situation before, it's not a very good feeling
    but anyways i liked it 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Searching for Guidance

    Very nice. a good way to display neg emotions, but with a final optimistic view. nicely done :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Hologram

    WOAH.... dude thats awsome.

    *claps*

    5/5... keep up the great work.

    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by sadeyes

    I really liked how you wrote this and it just shows that some people have the strength to carry on

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