My Reassuring Addictions

The pills never work,
The drugs in my head.
The pain is suffocating,
My heart is dead.

It's the last round,
I'm nothing to all.
I strike out once more,
And again I fall.

Hitting the ground hard,
On razor blades and pills.
I've lost my hope,
And I've lost my will.

My heart no longer beats,
It only makes the pain real.
I take pills and alcohol for sanity,
I strike my skin to feel.

Hurting on the inside,
Mean nothing to the soul.
My heart is ashes and soot,
My spirit is as dark as coal.

I rot in this tomb,
Just another corpse in the ground.
The heart ache is all I have,
And the pain is all I've found.

Every hour I sit and wait,
Looking out my window.
Searching for a reason to live,
Yet this reason, I'll never know.

I'm leaning over the edge,
I'm no longer supporting myself.
I lose my balance and fall,
Like a book off a loose shelf.

I hit the ground and shatter,
Like a mirror after a kill.
This pain still haunts me,
Even though I can no longer feel.

I slice with such precision,
I drag the razor across my skin.
I pray this is the last time,
And the Grim Reaper will finally win.

Blood flows through my veins,
Yet I feel more than dead.
These memories that haunt my heart,
Echo like screams inside my head.

The insanity boiling in my mind,
And crawling beneath my flesh.
Leave me to pills and alcohol,
In a bloody, psychotic mess.

Hit me once,
I wickedly grin.
Hit me twice,
I stand and defend.
Hit me three times,
I loose control.
Hit me one more time,
As my fist unfolds.
Strike me with passion,
I'll hit the floor.
I cry out for mercy,
Yet I always come back for more...