Amazing! I love it, for somone who catches everything with just a glimps I could not find one flaw within this poem. Wonderful. Much better than the other one and you are improving. This had a beautiful flow and the words were used very well.
5/5
<3Tay

You seem to have such a firm grip on the way humanity deals with their lives, even if that isnt how you intended this poem to come across. honestly i got a bit lost in reading it, but there was a part that stood out to me:

"As we hope our fates will hold fortune,

But do our lives really head for fortune?"

That is a beautiful question that few understand how or why it is important. wether out of fear or confusion we as humanity dont touch on this broad subject.

Keep it up.

5/5

Hey i loved it, its an amazing poem you have very good word choice in it and the flow is great i honestly cannot find a single thing wrong with it great work, keep it up 5/5

"Patience is needed while we wait for time,
Rushing will only lead to more mistakes,"
`These lines really make a lot of sense to me. They are so true. In fact, I just went through something in which I learned that patience is key, you can't rush things because it will in fact only lead to more and more mistakes.. making things worse. Well written. I'm glad I could relate and realize the true meaning behind these lines.

"Will we be captured and stuck in our past?
Determination is needed to hold our present,
Looking back will kill our dreams of the future,"
`I adore this poem!! Wooow. Everything is so true. If you look at the past, which you shouldn't.. because it will only ruin your dreams for the future. Absolutely 100 percent truth!

"As we continue to pass through time,
But our hearts get lost in our past,
The little pieces left from our mistakes,"
`Another very true statement. You are wording everything so well. As time continues to pass, our hearts get like literally stuck in the past.

"Over time we will learn from our mistakes,
As long as we keep believing in the future,"
`Thank you for writing such a good poem. It really gives true advice.. and it's something I think everyone should follow. These lines again, are so true.. as time passes - you will learn from the mistakes you've made, but ONLY if you believe in the future, and look forward to the future.. if you don't - you're probably looking in the past.. and you won't really succeed looking in the past. You won't learn from the mistakes you've already made.

"We can only fall behind dwelling in the past,
It will only blind us from our current fortune,
Still we struggle to move back and forth in time,
While we're caught up in the middle named "Present""
`Woow, I can really relate. Although, living in the present isn't a bad thing either, but dwelling on the past will only make one fall further behind in making their dreams come true.

"But how can we forget that we're in the present?
The one part of our life where we make mistakes,"
`True true. We made mistakes in the past too, but I guess we do focus more on the ones in the present. Great wording. Very understandable.

"Desperately struggling to move on to the future,
How can we risk a life so precious on fortune?,
Lost and running away from our difficult past,"
`Amazing word choice. I loved the words {desperately, struggling, precious.} Great words, they really made the poem shine that much more. :)

"This life was not meant to be led in the past,
It's hard enough finding our life in the present,"
`I agree completely with your thoughts!

"I for one will stare far into the future,
As I watch all three aspects of time,"
`These lines were really powerful and stuck out, because you came out to say what you will do [you will stare far into the future]. Amazingly said, plus.. I find looking into the future the best option as well. XD

"Now I believe fortune is a ghost of our past,
While time is a counter-clock of our present,
As this life of mistakes forces us into the future... "
`Perfect!

Overall, you said it all in the poem. Such a true poem with such great advice that I believe everyone should follow. Thanks for such a great read. It made me realize that - sometimes I find myself looking too much back on the past, and I can't do that... looking far into the future and letting my dreams come true is my best option. Impressive write. Flawless. 5/5.

I agree with soso, I didn't expect this from the thread either but it was very very beautifully written. It made me feel very nostalgic for the past & all the mistakes but also how it feels like for the present. Very good tho =) all 5's from me.

Hmm, very well detailed. I thought its was one of the best poems ive ever read!

I like how it shows real picture, none of that phony stuff. Its very good.

If you dont mind, i would like to add you to my favorites, and keep reading.

This is a reply to the post you made on the discussion board, so please RRC my newest, heres the link
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/misc/poems.php?id=1085147
and any other two that catch your eye.

Thankss,
and very good poem.
Dollface.

Very interesting poem. A few things that I liked stood out to me. First off, I liked how you kept referring back to the "fortune" that we're all looking for and forgetting what we have. Also, its great that you were able to capture this thing that everyone does, no matter how much we try not to. Loved how you ended it, esp. this line "While time is a counter-clock of our present". Very down to earth poem. Well done. =)