Invisible

by BeautifulxMess   Sep 13, 2008


She can't see you when you walk by,
And see you wanting her so bad it hurts.
I know that it's killing you on the inside,
But she doesn't know it when she flirts.
She leads you till you can't go anymore.
I wish she would stop all this confusion.
Because it's closing your every door.
Love is making her beauty an illusion.

When she walks right by your side,
I can see your smile brighten up the room.
I know that it kills you more and more inside,
Because you can smell her strawberry perfume.
I know it sucks to be invisible,
And never be seen by anyone but you,
I know that you are incredible,
And someone else doesn't know what to do.
Because she thinks of you that way,
And you don't notice her smile.
Because she smiles at you everyday.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Because she smile at you everyday.
    Because she smiles at you everyday?

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I love the rhyme scheme and the romantic theme. If someone gave me a poem like this when I was younger they would have seen the lights change. I can' tell if the subject is shy or arrogantly rejecting the admirer but it adds to the mystery
    well done

  • 16 years ago

    by StarGirl

    I really enjoyed this and I can really relate to it. I have guy friends who are in the exact same position. It's like if I were attracted to any of them and not already taken I would be there for them to show em there are good girls out there who do notice them and don't abuse them like that.

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    I thought the poem was good. I really liked the concept. It seems to happen more often then not, making it a really relatable piece.

    I enjoyed it guite well.
    5/5
    -Elaine.

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    Hm. I liked it, but I feel as though the flow was off a bit.

    Also, this part really confused me:

    "She can't see you when you walk by,
    And see you wanting her so bad it hurts."

    -- The second line -- I don't know if I should read it like this: "And, see, you wanting her.." or "And to see you wanting her.."

    "And you don't notice her smile.
    Because she smile at you everyday."

    -- "smile" should be "smiles". :]

    Besides that, though, I loved this. I thought it was heartfelt, and written well. I thought the rhyming was excellent. Good job. :]

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

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