86,000 and 400 Seconds a Day

There are things I have seen in my life
That I don't believe I will ever comprehend
And though I am very young to what people see
I feel I've lived a life and came back again

I can watch as a clock ticks away its seconds
but never appreciate this life I've been given
And I know somewhere in the future I will grow
But I wonder if life is something worth living

I feel like sometimes nothing will ever change
It's like I'm counting down days to my own demise
And I feel there are many things I've done wrong
But I can't understand the tears I have cried

I'm not depressed and I don't wish to be dead
But sometimes I've wondered just where I'd be
Sometimes I wonder if theres a life far away
A life I'd see my loved ones and they'd see me

I try so hard to be strong and think positive
I tell myself maybe there's a chance in dreams
A place where if not Heaven I can see a face
Where reality isn't something that can dawn on me

I understand that one day I will leave this world
And like footprints in sand slowly drift away
I'll become a tombstone in a distant graveyard
My name left with a date marking my journey today

I've thought of asking for maybe angels wings
Perhaps a bed of roses and maybe a suprise lilly
I even thought of a big cross that was expensive
But to think of it, that's not what I want really

I have met many people in this life I have lived
Many who I deem precious and hold close to my heart
And if I had an angels wings where I could fly away
I think I'd rather just stay in an old graveyard

A place where tears aren't something I can shed
A Place where happiness isn't something I can see
For I don't feel I deserve either of them anymore
And I'd really just enjoy someone visiting me

I know that what is gone in life is forever gone
I won't see the faces of those who perished away
And with saying that I really don't understand
Living life to count 86,000 and 400 seconds a day