A mistake

by Sweet lig   Sep 15, 2008


As I sit alone in the lake,
It feels my heart will break,
it was thoroughly meant to ache.

The past seems so hard to fake,
Once remembered It feels me quake,
That turns my life, love's at stake.

That entire mistake,
I've learned to awake,
As I tried to partake.

If I had only the chance to remake,
I'd change all the ghastly things that shake,
Never ever to make another mistake.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I thought this was cool. I liked the rhyming because, I've never seen it done before and it's hard to get so many rhyming words to sound good, but then I didn't like it because it bacame a little too Dr. Seus for me, otherwise nice job!
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I really enjoyed this piece, it was short and sweet and right to the point. I thought the flow and rhythm were both great and the message is very relatable. Great job 5/5 GG23

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    "As I sit alone in the lake,
    It feels my heart so break,
    That was thoroughly so ache.

    Those past seem so hard to fake,
    Once I remembered It feels me quake,
    That turns my life stake.

    That entire mistake,
    Ive learned to awake,
    And tried to partake.

    If I had only the chance to remake,
    Id change all the ghastly things that shake,
    And never ever to make another mistake."

    This is a beautiful poem from the heart
    This is the way I would edit

    As I sit alone in the lake,
    It feels my heart will break,
    it was thoroughly meant to ache.

    The past seems so hard to fake,
    Once remembered It feels me quake,
    That turns my life, love's at stake.

    That entire mistake,
    I've learned to awake,
    As I tried to partake.

    If I had only the chance to remake,
    I'd change all the ghastly things that shake,
    Never ever to make another mistake.

  • 16 years ago

    by Hannah

    Wow thats really great rhyming very outstanding and never ever read one like this. i love the imagery very impressive and enjoyable great job 5/5