A Whole New World {Contest & Triquatrain}

by BREEawNUHH   Sep 16, 2008


"It's over, and I'm done, we've had our fun".
You left me broken and alone on the floor.
"Please don't go, my heart is breaking slow".
I cried as you walked away and slammed the door.

I felt so hurt, wearing my tear stained shirt.
You don't know what happened to me.
But you don't care, and it wasn't fair.
Maybe we just weren't meant to be.

I'll be okay, because tomorrow is a new day.
Life is what I have to focus on at this time.
I hope you're doing well, but I can't really tell.
I'll find someone who'll make my eyes shine.

Wait right there, maybe life really is fair.
Because I think I found the one for me.
My heart skips, and my stomach flips.
I'm thankful that I stuck around to see.

A whole new world, this boy has unfurled.
His eyes tell a story I've always wanted to read.
A smile so bright, it could light the night.
I'm going to let this love take the lead.

He's perfect in every way, too many words to say.
I just cannot seem to believe that this is real.
My life is now great, and our love won't deflate.
There is no way to explain how he makes me feel.

Briana Coulter
09.16.08

A Triquatrain takes on the following pattern:

a, a
b
c, c
b

d, d
e
f, f
e

g, g
h
i, i
h

-- and so on..

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Please don't go, my heart is breaking slow".
    I cried as you walked away and slammed the door."

    In the first line, I feel like the second part of that could be reworded, it just seems unusual to read to me, but that's totally my opinion.

    Good work with this poem, the style was very unique, and what I liked about this piece, was the rhyming and constant flow. Good emotions too, 5/5 from me. Keep writing, always and forever....

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I loved this write, it started out sad, but then just got so much better. Your heart was broken, and then you found someone who could make you smile again and words just cannot explain how great he makes you feel. It's yet another beautiful write. I'm happy that something good came out of this, and that you are happy. I hope this is real and that you found the guy that is "perfect." :] 5/5.

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