Well I definately think the topic is very strong, I would try to fix up the flow though in certain places by simply adding or subtracting even just a wrod or two. Loose should be lose also, just a couple minor errors but the poem is really well written and won't take much to make it even better :) Great job 5/5 GG23

Well its kinda great imagery, u really had portrayed what u really want to express thru this poem. but though, i was not really relate fully coz there is something i was expecting at the last lines. hmm maybe u should finished now coz as what u said not yet done.. so u better finished it and im sure this really more better. keep on writing 4/9

This is rather good and even better to read the second time. The first time through I had a basic idea what it was about but after knowing your intentions were to depict the holocaust, reading it a second time really brought out the imagery and emotion that came with your words. If I were you I would change "surrounded by bodies" to something like "next to the dead and lost". To me the word surrounded just doesn't work with the flow of your piece. One more thing I might change is the end of your first stanza. I think it would help emphasize the emotion of your piece to add at the end of the first stanza "Imagine a walk through hell." because of the way you repeat the stanza at the end but with one more line added on, this just adds the comparison of the holocaust to hell. I just personally think it will add to emotion. But an great piece none the less. 5/5

Very emotion-filled poem. The shortness for this particular poem made it better, imo. It has this certain rhythm to it. I liked the way you used repetition in almost every line. The flow of the poem was good for the most part. In stanza four, line 2, "That's not really a walk at all", doesn't seem to fit for me. Maybe it's 'cause the rest of the stanza is short. Anyway, nice work.

Wow, this piece was so.. creative and addicting. From the moment I laid my eyes on the first word, I knew I had to finish. And definitely, this piece was just.. great. You expressed the sadness in this piece reall well and I like the wayy you structured the piece. And the end was.. mind blowing. 5/5