Suffocate

I always cover my true self
It's being done against my health.
I could never truly let myself be seen
For unworthy would I be deemed.
I lie and spin and exaggerate
I wear this mask and suffocate.
The true me is buried deep deep down
This outer costume is a clown.
I hate the thing that I've become
But all of this is something I have done.
This never ending struggle is a raging storm
I have split myself into two separate forms.
There's the one we see and think is great
Then the other so full of hate.
He holds contempt for you and I
Because he's such a bitter guy.
He wants to feel the love of all
But believes he's someone far too small.
His mood can change in a flash
Logical and cool then emotional an rash.
His own self loathing is a thing of shame
For to him he's the one to always blame.
He's depressing, and sad a broken soul
Whatever he's done it's taken its toll.
Do you see now why I keep him hidden behind a gate?
This is why I wear a mask and allow myself to suffocate