Hmmm is this based off of a mythical story??
Now... i really loved all of this... but it was a bit wild for me! it is very imaginitive but of course the names of these people confused me a bit. but this was written beautifully. i liked this line:

Everything seemed air
to the couple traveling in darkness,
but you committed the sin:

it's just so strange and completely making sense to me... maybe you mean something different but i see somethng like.. the couple traveling are mellow, kind of like whatever... but you are worried caz youve sined..
or maybe not i dont know! but i love this!

5/5