Comments : Two Beautiful Hearts Suddenly Broken. Again.

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "Twice I broke your heart, shattered it completely.
    The pieces lay on the floor as you think of me.
    Never was it my intention, I never wanted to hurt you.
    Knowing this, my heart crumbles; filling me with pure sadness.
    Tears start to flow down my cheeks, once again I screwed up."

    -- LOVE. That's the one thing I can say about this stanza. It's written absolutely flawlessly. It shows that you're still in pain because you broke this other persons heart. It's showing the reader that you still care about this person.

    "Will I ever be able to erase these thoughts? These feelings?
    I find that nearly impossible when what I hold is true from my heart.
    As time passes, our minds will become free of tangled thoughts.
    The fog in our minds will clear, confusion will disappear in a flash-
    our hearts will mend, and we'll become friends; remaining single."

    -- Your word choice here is beautiful. I love the raw emotion that pours from the words you write. I feel like you're giving the reader a chance to see what is actually going on in your mind and your heart.

    "Love is something I didn't have much experience with, never did I once-
    know the true meaning of love, that's probably where I went wrong.
    You knew what you wanted, you wanted to be with me and only me.
    In an instant, we exchanged our hearts hoping they would be held-
    close, with true care...never ruining nor destroying."

    -- Aw. There is not much I can say about this, except for the fact that I thought it was written exquisitely. In the last line, there should be a space after the "..."'s, though.

    "I find it basically impossible to move on from something like this-
    life has just become that more difficult than it was to begin with.
    Maybe this love was never meant to be afterall?
    I just hope you don't see this as one big mistake."

    -- I don't think that someone could ever see falling for someone as a mistake. It's part of life, and it's one hell of an experience, regardless of how it ends.

    "Two beautiful hearts that should have never been broken; were broken.
    Now we are drifting apart from the love we shared, into the distance."

    -- Wow. These two lines were stunning in every way. They ended the piece wonderfully, and your feelings really came out here.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana