*claps* I see a pattern! Yay! This is by far your best poem. Though you have a few gramatical errors, it doesn't take away from the message of this powerful poem. Nice work!

Ohmygoodnessssssssssss!! love it!! nice flow and wonderful rythmes (dont knowif i spelt that correct). keep it up! KM

This poem... it is not clear, I dont really get a feel for its meaning or the situation it is describing. Also, I commend you for playing with rhyme a bit, but a lot of your sections seem very false... almost as if you forced them just so that you could repeat the word you were trying to use. I also find that technique a little ineffective.
As well, your shift in attitude near the end was dissapointing. Try making it longer! dont worry, us poem enthusiasts love a good long read now and then.
Keep writing, keep improving, and most importantly: keep expressing yourself!