I'm all alone

Thanks for ur comment this makes me to work harder each and everyday i realy appreciate that again thanks sharp samkeliso

I'm all alone and lie here, quiet as a mouse
I hate going to bed without you in this house
I'm afraid to go to sleep so I leave the light on
Everything about this picture feels so wrong

*Very powerful opening. I love your use of periodic syntax. Very detailed. Nice*

Voices, darkness, fear, I wake up in the middle of the night
Asking myself which demon was it this time I had to fight
There's no-one in this house and I'm afraid to go to sleep
I leave the light on but it still strikes me so deep

*Wow, this stanza is very deep and kinda creepy too. I feel like I'm watching a movie. I love the imagery*

I don't understand the choices that you make
I keep asking myself why there's no-one when I awake
I walk around in circles all day long
Damned, why is the love I feel for you so strong?

*I love that you used rhetorical questions, i like that the style and the flow stay the same throughout*

It is you I love every second of the day
But somewhere down the line it went the wrong way
I'm all alone in this house and I'm afraid to say goodnight
I'm scared I'll think of you, and I know I just might

*I like how the mood chnages here. I feel your heart in this stanza. You have a beautiful way of writing.

Every night I feel alone, in silence I cry
Till I feel another piece of my soul that starts to die
I'm afraid to go to sleep so I leave the light on
Still everything about this picture feels so wrong

*This was such a good ending. There were so many things I loved about this poem. Keep it up. Shanik

WOW.... this was just sooooo dismal and tragic.
Are you talking of a lover, or a parent?
Family member?
Anyway, I loved how this poem flowed, and it spoke of a deep saddness inside of you. You wrote this really well.
I enjoyed reading it.

I hope you are okay.

5/5