Forlorn Heart (Diamante)

"Heart.
Forlorn, shattered"
--I liked this. It introduced a common topic: a broken heart, but I liked your word choice. Forlorn has an excellent usage in this part. Great way to start off a short piece.

"Bleeding, aching, screaming.
Love, soul, beat, rate."
--I liked how you used screaming. It really personifies a broken heart and how that person feels. Bleeding was used well too. It really was a good follow up to the previous lines. I liked beat and rate, and it ties nicely to the previous and following lines.

"Dying, cracking, breaking.
Dull, abnormal.
Pulse"
--Again, I'm finding the words in this poem well used. I like how it really shows how the heart is broken after a mishap. Dull and abnormal were a nice change too. I don't see abnormal often, and it was cool to see it used. Pulse really wrapped up the piece, and I liked it.

Overall: I enjoyed this poem. I like short poems, and this was a good example of a diamante.
Excellently penned.

--Krista

I loved the form, i just wish on this site we could actually write concret poems. i thought the vocabulary could have been better, but overall this was pretty well written. In the definition of this style i did not see anything where it said the 4 words had to be 4 letters, so i was wondering why you chose to do so when other, longer, words, i feel, could have worked much better with the poem.
i did, however, love this style, and i thought you executed it well.

`:Lauren

I like the fact that you write in your own rules...keep it up..very nice job

Those are hard to write.. had to do one for my daughter.. very nice job and to the point.. really liked it:)

I really enjoyed reading this. I thought your word choice was great, and I feel like you got a lot across with few words. To be honest, there is not much more I can say about it. lol. I wrote something like this once.. in the 4th grade. Mine came out.. really bad. Hahah. But really, though -- I loved it.

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana