black on the underside,
and i...
i am soaked with lies
"I'm fine"
i cry
out to the rest of them
as their she lay
dying in a hospital DAMMED with pain
and as i say,
that I'm ok
i find myself,
in that bed as her inner soul
i feel as though
i have hurt her
and it is MY fault
-------------------------------
it has now moved to her brain
another tumor
another day
her liver shutting down
my mother
is about to drown
i want to save her
i want to breathe
what will i do
if she's not next to me?
her skin is turning yellow
her liver now dead,
her eyes discolored with fright
she knows she's going
but she cannot speak
--------------------------------------
the doctors say
she has a few days
how do i feel?
what do i say?
does my opinion matter anyway?
something warm running down my cheek,
another tear
my strength is bleak,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
i cannot feel,
i cannot scream!
i feel the shame!
i feel HER pain!
whats wrong with me
why do i run away!
IN MY MOTHERS OWN FINAL DAYS!
--------------------------------------------
they send back to the nursing home
only 42 years young
this is way to early
she's way to young
and I'm only 15,
how do i live with out a mother?
-----------------------------------------
the one day i do not go to see her,
so i can rest,
my mother takes
her final breaths,
their deep and long
and they finally slow,
and then her pain and hurt,
finally goes,
it was around 1:30 a.m.
on a Saturday morning
she was finally free
and i know she loves me,
and i love her too,
so she's in god's hands now,
free from pain,
no tears in heaven,
no more fear,
