Comments : Beautiful Crimson Lips.

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Temps,

    a new poem, oh goodie :)

    Beautifully formed crimson lips, so luscious.
    Each wrinkle and curve so visible by the eyes.
    Spill those words that are on the tip of the tongue.
    Sweet and magical, yearning for one kiss.
    ^
    A lovely discription of a very sensual and sensitive body part.
    Lips also used for expressions of love, such words can lift a soul, or destroy a heart..

    Gentle and delicate in appearance.
    Gazing at their beautiness leaves me speechless.
    Sweetness oozes from such attractiveness
    filling my empty stomach with butterflies.
    ^
    Great imagery here, speechless in the face of such astounding beauty...beautiness (I like this word - cute)
    The excitement of love and lust, especially when it is new. Stomach churning and somersaulting..a simile for butterflies in your empty stomach - nice, because new love takes your appetite, so nice reference!

    Those lips speak the words I wish to hear,
    yet all they become are cold darkened lies.
    Spilling continuously, so deceiving, leaving me..
    crushed by the sweetest lips I've never kissed.
    ^
    Here the poem twists and contorts, changing from light to dark. I must admit this shocked me as I wasn't expecting this.
    In this stanza you speak volumes, you mention those beautiful lips, but this time they take what they gave, but with it a whole lot more!
    You paint the picture so well, the continuous lies, the deceit, the hurt and the pain...then finally, those lips that crush are lips that were never physically kissed, perhaps lips that belonged to a body many miles away. This distance created a love that was intense and exciting, but with this distance came pressure and complications, resulting in a broken heart.

    This is so sad, but also beautiful. ((hugs))

    Michael

  • 16 years ago

    by rebeccasarah

    Definetly a great poem.
    Talent? I'm thinking yes.
    Keep it up, 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by BUSSEYBABY

    Wow, real good