Comments : Your Words

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a very sad piece. Full of raw emotion.

    Memories painful, my soul is aching
    Words hurled and spewed, my heart breaking
    Daggers piercing my heart and soul
    Will the wounds heal and close the hole

    Sometimes things said out of anger hurt worse then if someone slapped you in the face. They remain in your mind.

    Defeated me, soul eroded, left me stunned
    No more, now free from what was done
    Putting pieces together, once again
    Battles to fight, victories to obtain

    I loved the ending. Hope shining through the darkness :)
    Great job!
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

    A very sad emotional poem with a nice possitive ending, a good message there for many of the youngsters on this site well written and well done

    If i may be so bold as to make a suggestion,
    even though your poems flow was good the meter is slightly off and easily improved

    Why did I stay for all those years
    Was in love, put away my fears
    Cruel and vicious, I am confused
    Awful words, left me bruised

    Look at the last line,i'm not trying to be critical,I just thought it would make a lovely poem even nicer

    Grant