This poem was fairly contradicting to each line it followed. Not that that was a bad thing, it was actually what really pulled me into the piece. It makes you wonder, who is doing what and why.

Overall it was a really interesting thing to read. The flow was a tiny bit bumpy, but it does depend on how you read it, so it was bumpy for me, but might not be bumpy for everyone. I liked how your vocabulary was simple yet effective.

I think the rhyme was unneeded at the beginning, it felt like it was a tiny bit forced, but hey it still made a pretty clear point :).

5/5 hope to read more from you soon teheh.