My goodness this is so sad. I hope you're not having these emotions . Your poem is nice in it's sad attitude. Such great structure and emotion.
I know these emotion, the sadness and emptiness you write about. Time heals my dear although slowly and painfully

Very original piece you have here. I found that it was an enjoyable read and a lot of good lines stood out making me want more. Ex. when you said that the mascara bled down her face I haven't heard it written that way which is cool. great job nothing to fix for me here
5.5
kaila

Your poems have the best imagery! Every time i read them, its like I can see verse after verse playing out in my mind.
Your use of vocabulary is also incredible. Basically, the words you use light up your poem.

"It's brightness wishes she would disappear into the lonely world."
> this line confuses me a little in its formation. Who's brightness wishes she would disappear?
maybe you mentioned it earlier in the poem and i just missed it. hmm.

this poem is still amazing though.. 5/5

I liked to poem but I think you could have gone into greater detail. The visual were good but for the most part it lack a constant story to hold the attention of the reader just a thought Plot121