I really like this tanka, nice job. Your descriptions are so clear and beautifully written, short but well-penned. Keep writing, always and forever....

First, I believe your syllable count is off in a few places.
The correct count is 5, 7, 5, 7, 7.

"Stream gushing forth"
Stream gush/ing forth = 4.

"In the heartless summer breeze,"
In the heart/less sum/mer breeze = 7.

"-A life that I was given-"
A life that I was giv/en = 7.

"To survive and not withered,"
To sur/vive and not with/ered = 7.

"I must reach for the sea!"
I must reach for the sea = 6.

I think the content of your poem is great. It's a beautiful image, and your word choice is great. Just work on the syllable counts. =]

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana

Well, I can't say I know much about Tanka, but I'll analyze it as I can.
The poem is of the kinds that are short, but express a lot in it.
First you presented a picture, and than you stated what it meant, or what it was for you - the life you were given was within.
Than you presented the purpose of the water there, you need the see to live. That could indicate the world we live in. We need to keep the world safe in order to live, like the water are neccessary for fish and so on...

Overall very creative, please pm me if there is something here I missed. 5/5

Hmm its kinda simple kind of thoughts. the message was so short but i can feel how really the words mean for. its simply kind of poetry. i've got also some short poems and there are short poems got lots of meaning that the long one.. so this one is well expressed keep it up 5/5

Very nice flow reflecting well inner feelings with only the advantage of the few words allowed in this style

great imagery and depth

"Stream gushing forth
In the heartless summer breeze,"
I love the idea of a heartless summer breeze, because they can be unforgiving and dry everything out, eventually killing plants and in turn animals. Great opening, it really sets the poem up for something great.

"-A life that I was given-
To survive and not withered,"
The last line of this section needs changing, I can tell that it's squished together to fit the syllabol count.

"I must reach for the sea!"
Turtles!
Great poem, it really reminds me of turtles in a literal sense, but if you apply it as a metaphor to certain things in life it works too. 5/5.

jess ~

Beautifully written poem.
i loved how you started and ended it.
you avoided falling into the cliches and put in original verses.

Im not very sure about these lines though:
"-A life that I was given-
To survive and not withered,"

maybe withered means something different from what im thinking here.. but to me at the moment .. it makes no grammatical or any sense really to use it in that sentence. Like whats not withered?

anyways.. other than that.. i loved it.
five outta five x)

Sweet poem, very deep, could be taken alot of ways :)

The poem was intresting The dispine for having that many sylibles was very unique good job. I enjoyed the images you portraid Plot121

"In the heartless summer breeze,"
- This line just gave me a warm feeling of happiness - it really sets the mood for the poem.

"I must reach for the sea!"
- A phenominal ending, I must say. (:

I, myself have never written a tanka but I may have to try it one day. Overall, your poem was amazing. The words blended so well together, and the imagery was quite beautiful. Nicely done.

5.5
Take care,
Stephanie.

I loved it! The third line where you say that your life was given to you and how you put hyphens around it, made it very powerful to me. I really enjoyed reading it... amazing job*

"Stream gushing forth
In the heartless summer breeze,
-A life, I was given-
To survive and not withered,
I must reach for the sea!"

short yet filled with life's perspective, you have managed to present the content flawlessly and the rhyme and rhythm is well orchestrated. Wonderful! Wonderful!

=5/5=

So beautifully penned... in few words you have captured the imagery so beautifully... making the analogy with the river... life goes one... till we reach the sea...

beautifully penned...

I like this :) it gives me a sense of hpe and a lot of things lack that now. It's refreshing to read something that's not all doom and gloom. That's mostly all I can write lol. But this was simple but beautiful. Again I admroe you for trying something new and not being afraid to leave your comfort zone. I think you did an amazing job with this and I wouldn't change anything about. Flawless darling :) Nik