Small Device.

I must say I laughed when I first saw that you had to write from the word ipod. Quite unique. And for you to be able to write about an objuect such as this is wonderful..

This was a simple piece which said so much about your love of music and your ipod. I know I depend on music to get me through day to day things which I need to do, as a matter of fact i'm listening to my ipod at this very moment.

You used the word such twice in the first two lines and I felt as though it kind of through me off. It's not a big deal but it would sound better without the second such in my opinion. I liked the first stanza expecially the third line as it melted my heart. I understand what you mean here. I really do. It does say exactly what you can never say no matter how hard you try.

Again you've used heart twice in the second stanza, I don't like the word heart for some reason... I feels kinda over used to me. Don't know why.. But again it's just my opinion.

You used some lovely words together throughout the poem which created a beautiful effect over the atmosphere. I liked the way you painted beautiful imagery into my mind. Overall this was a lovely piece which I did enjoy reading. -Mel

This was a simple but very well written piece I enjoyed everything about it the flow the meaning the visuals the way you set everything up all and all a great piece of work keep up the great job Plot121

OH WOW.. this is so original.. i dont think i've ever seen a poem about any electronic music device whether it be an ipod or anything else. so that already makes the poem that much better.

"Such beautiful lyrics can be heard from pink headphones
coming from such a small device I call my life saver.
They speak the words that my heart cannot express,
filling me with optimism to start my day."
> I am in love with the last two lines.. they make this ipod feel like god. lol.. which technically it can be because of all the help it provides though its music.

"Each line connects with my true feelings deep within,
the words tickle my heart, spreading a smile across my face.
Music so tender to my ears, so calming to my obscure heart-
leaves me serene, free of thoughts that wander as they please."
> great idea to used free verse. It avoids the use of cliches and makes this even more original than it is.. I absolutely love the imagery in this stanza.

"Cloudless of worries, my mind becomes uncluttered.
Thick fog diminishes, leaving bright blue skies above.
Luminous sun reflects off black screen revealing the song
that plays through such small headphones, yet speak so much. "
> i can not think of a single thing you need correction on but on the last line. I would advise that you change that "yet" to a "that" to make more sense because for me, the 'yet' ruins it a little.

basically, awesome poem. thats all x)

First of all -- OH MY GOD! You wrote a poem about an iPod! I'm favouriting this. =]

"Such beautiful lyrics can be heard from pink headphones
coming from such a small device I call my life saver.
They speak the words that my heart cannot express,
filling me with optimism to start my day."

-- You used the word "such" twice here. I think you should take one of them away. When I was reading it, it kinda threw me off. But, hey -- it's your poem, so you can write it however you wish. I loved the third line. I thought it was beautiful. Music is an amazing way to express how you're feeling, especially if you're unable to say it.

"Each line connects with my true feelings deep within,
the words tickle my heart, spreading a smile across my face.
Music so tender to my ears, so calming to my obscure heart-
leaves me serene, free of thoughts that wander as they please."

-- Hm. In the second and third line, you use the word "heart" twice. Once again, it just kind of throws me off. [I know that I am guilty of this, too, lol.] Your word choice in this stanza is wonderful. "Obscure heart" -- that is gorgeous. Being free of thoughts -- how great is that? I often feel that way, too, when I am listening to music.

"Cloudless of worries, my mind becomes uncluttered.
Thick fog diminishes, leaving bright blue skies above.
Luminous sun reflects off black screen revealing the song
that plays through such small headphones, yet speak so much."

-- Ooh. "Cloudless of worries" -- that is mindblowing. In this stanza, I can almost picture the sky being dark, and cloudy and out of nowhere, just.. clearing up, and looking as though it had never been dark at all. Again, your word choice is great. Third line -- my favourite line in the whole entire poem. There are no words to describe how beautiful it is.

Great job. =]

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana

Aw! this was really cute, and I think everyone who owns an ipod can definitly relate! The last stanza was my favorite, for me it held more meaning and it was more original. One thing I would fix is the word heart is in there a lot and since the poem is on the short side I feel as if it's used to much which sticks out while the reader reads it. Otherwise great job hope you win/won the contest!
5/5
kaila