I'm constantly falling,
crying,
shaking,
and crawling.
Yet I'm held completely still;
this sadly, is by my own will.
I lie here haunted by my strife,
encased in a tomb within my life.
As I lie here mentally turning,
my minds wild fire burning,
my trail of thought freezes abruptly like thunder,
it stopped at these memories,
the ones i can"t seem to block.
I feel a scream build up inside me,
it can't escape,
my mouth concealed,
as if by tape.
a rueful tear rolls down my check,
bottled feelings beginning to leak.
I've tried so hard
to just change
and forget,
but this I'm afraid,
my mind won't let.
I've tried for so long;
a million days,
maybe two;
but i can't trick myself,
i know these thing are true,
no matter how much i hate this,
how much i hate you.
