Long Shot.

Telling a story through poetry can be a little tricky I find at times. It takes a little practice and a little emagination that I can tell that you already posess.

I thought it was good, kinda tongue-in-cheek, and it was obviously a personal senario that you needed to work through with words, poetry doesn't always have to be written as mass appeal

That wasn't bad. Try to shorten the lines in this poem and experiment by using different words to make them so that they are not as chopy. As well by experimenting you want to use words that can reflect your emotions like a mirror. I hope that will help you out:) I will be reading more of your poems and coment as I go. Mean while keep writting and don't be afraid to take chances.

Ummmm. . . . not one of my favorites, it didn't keep my attention, sorry, but i'm easily distracted, so ya.
4/5

Awsome dude