Comments : The world is MYSTERIOUS!

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This is very cute what you wrote, and it was enjoyable to read. Here are some thoughts:

    "I want to move on
    for I need to know you more
    but I just seem i cant
    you are someone i adore."

    I would capitalize all of the "i"s in your poem, I noticed sometimes you have them capatilized and other times you don't.

    Third line- "cant" should be "can't"

    Otherwise, good job with this poem. Take care and keep writing, always and forever...

    You never know
    for the world is mysterious
    we avoid things we shouldn't
    and are minds get so delirious!

    i don't even have to be around you that long
    just a few moments
    and you change my world
    for i cant wait to be yours
    so everyday is a wonderful dream!!!!!!!!