Eternal Relief

by khobo   Sep 28, 2008


Lips trembling
Tears forming
Breath breaking
Heart pouring.

Fluttering to the surface
The accumulated tears
Finally escape my grasp
After long awaited years.

Heart shaking
Breath stuttering
Tears raining
Lips quivering.

Washing away control
Flushing out past emotions
Liberating my soul
By layers of erosion.

Lips bitten
Tears retreating
Breath lighten
Heart healing.

Relief has arrived
In big open arms
Bringing tranquility
Comforting and calm.

Heart grinning
Breath forming
Tears vanishing
Lips warming.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This piece was absolutely wonderful. Your word choice was amazing. I also like how in every other stanza, you used "heart", "breath", "tears", and "lips". Because you changed the second word on each of them everytime, the repetition worked. I loved it. Somehow, you've also seemed to make the fact that you used one period in each stanza work. Normally, it throws me off. But not here. You've done a wonderful job to say the very least.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • 16 years ago

    by vintage darling

    I absolutely fell in love with the first stanza.

    i really liked the fact that for every other stanza, you put that heart beating, breath breaking kind of pattern.

    it was so original and brilliant.

    wonderful.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Beautiful job ^^,
    I loved this style of poetry and your chioce of wording was well suited =]
    Good job, I also thought the flow was perfect too