Beautiful job ^^,
I loved this style of poetry and your chioce of wording was well suited =]
Good job, I also thought the flow was perfect too

I absolutely fell in love with the first stanza.

i really liked the fact that for every other stanza, you put that heart beating, breath breaking kind of pattern.

it was so original and brilliant.

wonderful.

This piece was absolutely wonderful. Your word choice was amazing. I also like how in every other stanza, you used "heart", "breath", "tears", and "lips". Because you changed the second word on each of them everytime, the repetition worked. I loved it. Somehow, you've also seemed to make the fact that you used one period in each stanza work. Normally, it throws me off. But not here. You've done a wonderful job to say the very least.

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana